Genre: Real-time Strategy
Year: 1999
Developed by: Ensemble Studios
Published by: Microsoft
Platforms: PC, Mac OS, PS2
#161
Feeling Like: Golden Age
How many games from the 90s are still being played today? I’m not talking some random person booting up Tiny Toon Adventures on a Nintendo Entertainment System that somehow miraculously works. Or the same group of 12 players that refuse to move onto newer editions of a franchise and somehow have Jerry-rigged a way to still play online, archaic infrastructure and all.
No, I’m talking about 90s games with a rabid fanbase that provide enough support that Microsoft created a Definitive Edition 20 years later. Or a 90s game featured in professional tournaments with prize pools in the tens of thousands of dollars. Or 90s games with recently released mods, enough for websites to rank the best 10. None of these achievements are unusual for a popular game today, but again, 1999. Twenty four years have elapsed and some still claim Age of Empires 2: The Age of Kings to be the undisputed multiplayer real time strategy king. I can hardly disagree.
I am super picky when it comes to Real-Time Strategies. Unless it’s from Blizzard, it’s unlikely I’ll even bother trying it out. I consider StarCraft 2 a genre-breaker – what, you’re going to do better than StarCraft 2? No, you can try something different, but it’s probably not going to get me to plunk down $60 (hell, $90 Canadian these days after tax) to give it a shot.
Age of Empires 2 is the only RTS that can hang with the big dogs. Everybody’s PC could run it and it was a mainstay at our early LAN parties. Now that I think about it, it may have been our first; my parents had a suite that wasn’t being used at all, except for a bunch of rowdy teenagers to play WWF No Mercy occasionally. There was barely anything in it – white walls, a crumbling couch, the old TV and a trunk for it to lay upon. Perfect.
So naturally it was the ideal stomping ground for an Age of Empires 2 LAN Party. Tables were sequestered from upstairs, much to the chagrin of my little sisters. Their cries of injustice were rendered moot when asked if they needed the tables/chairs in question – no, but a sibling was using them therefore a complaint had to be submitted. Duly noted. Now, I need to get back to building my castles and trebuchets, if you please.
I am not the person to be discussing why Age of Empires 2 is so great, but you’ll have to take my word for it. Resource collecting is a game in itself, ensuring you have enough of a workforce to build farms, chop wood, harvest gold and stone now seems like a pre-cursor to Settlers of Catan and HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE – Catan came out in 1995! Maybe that’s where Ensemble got their motivation from? I’m pretty sure there’s sheep in the game too.
You couldn’t really rush your opponents, not if you didn’t want the whole room yelling at you. So, it became a peaceful-yet-mad scramble to build your town before daring to be the first person to take the plunge and attack your opponent. Since there were so many civilizations to choose from, surprise units or structures always lay around the corner. There are 42 different races to play in the definitive edition – 42!!!
I was always the Byzantines, and don’t ask me where or when they existed in human history. What I can tell you is that their cannon towers were the only way I could defeat the Commodore (you remember him, from the Gears of War 3 post. That’s also him sitting on the couch on the far right in the above picture) and his brutal Persian war elephant units. When it came to escapades of more than 1 on 1 encounters though, it was anybody’s game. You can’t cannon tower the entire map.
And why in the hell is the soundtrack so good? And why are the song names so stupid?
This relaxing ditty will stay with me forever, naturally it’s called “Shamburger.”
“Smells like Crickets, Tastes like Chicken.”
Huh?
“Bass Bag”…..sure! Why not.
I’m fairly confident that only a few of our PCs were powerful enough to run the game smoothly in a LAN AND play music at the same time, so typically we only had one of us with the music on. Since we wanted to hear it across the room, we had them blare their speakers and that included their constant audio confirmations that they’ve selected a unit.
You know, I really don’t think we knew what the hell we were doing. I also know we didn’t care.
There were so many options to build out your army that it was nearly overwhelming. Infantry units, cavalry, towers, war machines, elephants, archers, monks, infantry archers…you get the point. Trying to micromanage them was just as much fun as assaulting an enemy force, all thanks to the beautifully clean user interface. It boggles my mind how difficult it can be to group together and play a modern online game, when it seemed so simple with Age of Empires 2. I have the same irritation when it comes to comparing today’s games with Perfect Dark; how, with all the advancements in technology and design, do most shooters have LESS features and options than a game from the year 2000?
Just look at the detail on those buildings! To think this was made so long ago! No wonder the game has lasted through the decades; despite two sequels and dozens of expansion packs, fans still clamor for Age of Empires 2. They’re comfortable with it, it’s a breeze to play and pick up with friends. There’s enough map and unit variety to ensure boredom never seeps in, and that’s discounting the multiple gameplay modes available to you. If I had to pick a single type of multiplayer match that’s my favorite, it’s co-operative play against an AI opponent. My StarCraft 2 post will include the amount of matches I played with Eric in Co-Op mode and I’m telling you right now, the number will be obscene.
I’m not wildly competitive. Outside my DOTA 2 days, I’ve never committed to being the top of leaderboards or improving the tier I’m placed in. Most of the time I want to have a good time, and there’s nothing better than zany double-crosses with a group of eight teenagers while guzzling an unhealthy amount of soft drinks in your parents’ basement suite. Age of Empires 2 was the catalyst for this – others would soon follow, such as Battlefield 1942 and Unreal Tournament 2004 but Age of Empires 2 was the first. To my terrible joke regarding Allan’s battering ram, to the constant horns signaling an attack to juvenile impressions of the Monk’s convert spell, it provided so many elements of a successful LAN party and treasured memories. What an incredible game.
The 500 