Genre: Platformer
Year: 2011
Developed by: Iron Galaxy, Twisted Pixel Games
Published by: Microsoft Studios
Platforms: iOS, Windows
#494
Feeling Like: Girls just wanna have fun
Alright, let me just try to step over the feminist argument here…there we go! Not my specialty. Smarter people than me might argue this game is insulting to women and I wouldn’t be able to refute them in the least, nor would I want to. Ms. Splosion Man is filled with goofy pop culture references, like a twinkie is filled with delicious, chemically enhanced goo. It’s everywhere.
It’s a two dimension, one button platformer that’s hard as hell, but not in the most gratifying way. It has way more variety in terms of level design compared to ‘Splosion Man, but a bit more annoying. The challenge ramps up, in no small part thanks to the excessive amount of explosions happening at any given time. It’s easy to lose track of yourself. There’s a lot of trial and error (emphasis on the error) gameplay.
Controls are fine but the timing of the obstacles left me pulling my hair out. You get a main jump and then two more mid-air jumps, but I never got the hang of it. I always felt the Ms. needed some Air Jordans, or my brain needed an IQ boost. Either way, I wasn’t properly prepared.
The difficulty is relentless. Bottomless pits, laser grids, pits of acid and walls that can crush you are only a few of the death traps that await. Between the insane music and Ms. constantly pretending to talk to her friends on the phone in bimbo-lingo, I was overwhelmed, if not a little impressed.
It takes the humor from the first ‘Splosion Man and doubles down. It includes two songs which deserve to be in the Video Game Music Hall of Fame. No, such a place doesn’t exist (it probably should), but go ahead and treat yourself to a sample of “Our Love Is More Than a Splosion” or, even better, “Badonkadonk”.
Badonkadonk enters the conversation as one of the best butt related songs ever. It’s not as rocking as Spinal Tap’s “Big Bottom” and not as timeless as “Baby Got Back” but it’s lyrically wonderful and as surprisingly hilarious as Blue Dragon‘s boss theme. The game gives you the option to skip a section if you die too many times. You can wave the white flag and proceed, but at the “penalty” of having Ms. Splosion Man’s ass grow and these words grace your eardrums.
“If the dudes just sit and stare, mesmerized by your derriere”
Or…
“If the size of your thighs hypnotize all the guys”
It’s sung proudly, weirdly and full of encouragement. The game wants to know that if you’ve got a big ol’ booty, and you’re well aware that you’re a cutie, then it wants you to shake that thang as you traverse through exploding barrels, slaughtered scientists and a visual trip that you won’t soon forget. It’s no Ms. Pac-Man but, once again, it trumps the Mr.
The 500 