Genre: Shoot ’em Up
Year: 1997
Developed by: Nintendo EAD
Published by: Nintendo
Platforms: N64
#48
Feeling Like: DOING A BARREL ROLL!
This is where the 500 doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. Star Fox 64 is not a better game than Half-Life 2, or BioShock, or God of War. I’m not saying that, nor should you think it. What I am saying is that this little rail shooter starring anthropomorphic animals taking on an evil space wizard is on a slightly higher level of Henry enjoyment. That’s all.
In 1997 I really didn’t even think about girls or school all that much. It was either soccer, friends, video games or playing video games with friends. That was my catalogue of things to get excited about. I was gifted Star Fox 64 for Christmas that year and brought it with me when we shipped off to Vancouver for a few days to visit family.
I didn’t even bring the N64, nor did my Aunt and Uncle have one. I was so excited for the game, I just wanted to look at the box and the instruction manual.
A drastic improvement over the original Star Fox, the 64 version leapt onto the screen with much better everything: graphics, music, sound effects, controls, level design and a playable framerate. It’s shocking that the graphics have actually held up (I still think the Arwing is one of the most visually appealing fictional ships) and how crisp the voice acting is. N64 voice acting could be hit or miss and I suppose I shouldn’t rag on the Super Nintendo version too much either – the fact that they tried for a 3D shooter with spoken dialogue on that hardware is beyond ambitious. But the hardware matched the intention this time and as a result we got the best iteration of Star Fox to date. It’s disappointing that the series peaked in 1997, but it also shows how good Star Fox 64 was.
Now, to beat it from start to finish takes virtually no time at all. Less than an hour; as a result, I beat Star Fox 64 more times than I can count. More than 99% of the games on the 500, easily. I got to know all the secret routes, which bosses to tackle, which path to take to Venom for optimal scores, which path to take to Venom to avoid that goddamn water level, which planet to tackle if I wanted to fight the lava monster, which enemies dropped the best upgrades and how the final level would turn out based on my choices.
It’s essentially a collect-a-thon, except instead of requiring you to get Stars or Blue Coins, Star Fox 64 wants you to replay the game over and over since you can’t hit every level on a single playthrough. The collection is in the experience itself and since stages are so varied and throw everything (kitchen sink included) at you, you’re always on your toes. And you’re always having fun.
God, just speeding along as the Arwing feels great. Tapping the L or R button angles the Arwing in that direction, meaning you can shimmy through some really tight spaces. Double tap for a classic Barrel Roll, deflecting most oncoming enemy projectiles. You can brake, you can boost, you can charge up your attack for a homing shot that hits adjacent targets, you can go into a first person view. You can fling bombs, you can even do a U-turn or loop-de-loop in All-Range mode. While it may look simple, the dogfighting sections take place in an arena with a ton of freedom. Will you go rescue Slippy (again…) or go for the target? The quicker you dispatch of enemies, the more bonus points you get, but your aim has to be true and it’s really difficult to do so without blue lasers. On the hardest difficulty, even a single hit can cripple your Arwing, so it’s not enough to just blast everything in sight.
Those all-range mode levels really were a highlight, especially when Star Wolf shows up with his three cronies. It’s 4 vs. 4, with no specific ship being highlighted as the one to go after, and they have your abilities too. If you sneak up behind Andrew and start wailing on him, chances are he’ll do a loop and end up right behind you. It’s a terrific dance of death and I never felt confused, or bewildered. The frantic pace at which you’re dodging oncoming enemy fire, barrel rolling around like a caffeinated bunny (sorry Peppy), and praying that your U-Turn will shake Leon off your ass is mesmerizing. I felt overwhelmed at times, sure, but in the best possible way.
And the rumble pack! This little accessory that made your controller rumble was packaged in with Star Fox 64 and was a game changer. It literally felt like the N64 controller was built with this in mind, to the point where a controller without it felt way too light. When you’d boost, the controller would vibrate. When you got it, vibrate. I guess in retrospect it sounds silly how excited we were for it, but I distinctly remember Dave V. handing the controller to his dad and gleefully laughing when he shouted “OH MY… MY CONTROLLER’S DOING SOMETHING!”
To switch things up from Goldeneye 007 or Super Smash Bros. we’d sometimes indulge in the multiplayer which isn’t nearly as tight as the single player experience, but it was just as much fun. We had to impose house rules – out of the five lives you had, you could only pick the Arwing once. Way too fast, way too overpowered, but you got to choose when to pick it. Normally it was right after somebody killed you and in a fit of rage you’re like “FINE. I’M PICKING THE ARWING SO I CAN BOMB SLIPPY INTO OBLIVION.” Or something like that. Plus, it was a good excuse to show off I’d completed the entire game and unlocked all the multiplayer options.
Running around as a little guy with a bazooka was hilariously stupid and completely inadequate when going up against a spaceship that goes about 20x faster than you, or a tank that can run you over, but it was a nice palette cleanser. I think it was law that all N64 games have four player split-screen, even if it was imbalanced as all hell.
I loved the world building. Nintendo created a fun, unique, silly science-fiction world. When Bill or Katt or some random person shows up, you really believe Fox and the gang have had run ins with them before due to the dialogue. The Thunderbirds style talking heads and eager proclamations of destroying the enemy are cheesy, very much so. I’m not going to sit here and tell you it’s a dark and gritty tale with incredible writing. But it felt adjacent to the Muppets – each character was interesting, weird and had memorable voice acting. There are so many lines that are still in my head.
“Andross’ enemy is MY enemy!”
“Annoying bird! I am the great Leon!”
“Don’t ever give up, my son.”
“If I go down, I’m taking you with me!”
“No! HIT THE BRAKES!”
It’s hardly Shakespeare, but because of the constant radio chatter, environmental dangers and an onslaught of baddies trying to end your adventure, each stage is less a corridor with targets and more of a rollercoaster track through an interactive party.
Some stages still stand out. Sector Z involves protecting your mothership, the Great Fox, against oncoming enemy missiles. These are huge, and take a ton of damage before they explode safely away from your home base. However, your friends are constantly in danger so it really becomes a game of “ok go go go for the missile….fuck, ok Peppy’s in trouble, where is he, ok go go zoom zoom pew pew pew, ok back to the missiles AHH there are two missiles now!” All-range mode really did elevate Star Fox 64, particularly in the nod to Independence Day which I’m very confident in saying was 10x better than any actual Independence Day video game.
My ultimate jam was Macbeth, the enemy’s armory planet. You get to play as the Landmaster, which is a tank that can fly and roll around like a toddler learning how to walk. This little thing has so much going for it, I replayed this level more than any other. There’s a train going right next to you, at all times, and your job is to take it down. You can switch sides of the track, you can temporarily hover over all the nonsense in your way to get a clear shot, you can hit the switch to adjust the track the train travels on in addition to several other twists to this brilliant level. The boss is full of personality, constantly belittling you, then being confused, then horrified when he realizes you’re going to win. Gold star, Nintendo. I’ve yet to enjoy a Star Fox moment as much as his stage, and it’s possible I never will again.
So, there you have it. Aside from the submarine level, which is borderline unplayable, every other stage is a treat thanks to an excellent challenge curve, hilarious characters and a ship that handles like a dream. As much as I enjoyed the chaotic multiplayer matches in Kasim and Aslam’s basement, the true pinnacle was getting medals on every area, and trying to beat my high score over, and over again. One final note, I find the notion of Nintendo heroes sending a bill for services rendered hilarious. After the end credits, you see an invoice based on how many units you killed, and the General’s reaction. Get enough points and he’ll just go “Whhhaaaaat?!?!!” I always loved that.
Next 47 Half-Life 2: Episode Two
The 500 