Genre: Run and Gun
Year: 1992
Developed by: Konami
Published by: Konami
Platforms: SNES, Game Boy Advance
#163
Feeling Like: MANLY MEN SHOOT GUNS AT ALIENS
I SHOULD WRITE THIS ENTRY ENTIRELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS.
There isn’t much text in Contra 3: The Alien Wars but if there was any in-game lore, it would be as bombastically outrageous as the rest of it. It’s a leftover from the late 80s, warmed up nicely in the microwave. It’s a staggering jump in graphical fidelity from the classic Contra and Super C. The difference is immediately notable, it would have been extremely difficult for wary parents to pass by a display console and not have to explain to their children why they didn’t need a Super Nintendo, they already had a Nintendo at home.
Well, soon to be frustrated parent, your kids do need a Super Nintendo. Look how awesome Contra 3 looks. There’s no pretense as to what this is; it’s intense, insane run and gun action. If you don’t start mastering the jumps, the guns, aiming and looking behind you, you’re not going to make it to the first sub-boss, let alone the end of the game. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
It’s one of those games you rented a dozen times, but never bought it. It’s a short experience; there’s only a handful of levels, though the challenge meant you’d really have to grind it out a few times to beat it. There are a few merciful powerups, but extra lives are in short supply and generally one hit from an enemy will kill you. Naturally for a Contra game, there are dozens of things flying at you at all times. The enemy variety is terrific, you’ll have snipers from rooftops, angry dogs to deal with, some bloated monstrosity edging towards you and the only solution is to shoot, shoot, shoot.
Man, the controls really shine. Pressing L+R strikes a manly pose, jumping then results in a hurricane of fire towards your enemies. You can adjust your jump mid-air. The obstacles never seem unfair because the connection from your brain to the screen is as thin as any other game I’ve played. The guns are terrific, you can often just hold the trigger and focus on evading projectiles. Eventually, you’ll blast whatever is confronting you to pieces. Thankfully, the bigger ones have helpful red dots indicating their weak point. It really is a poor strategic decision on the invading alien’s part, but I’m grateful.
Stage 3 is the showstopper, my favorite level. Konami knew they had something special on their hands, since this is the area that’s featured on the box art. It all starts with the music.
Goddamn, what a theme. There’s no chance you can get bored here. It pumps you up as it throws new sets of enemies, crazy platforming challenges and a few bosses that would be right at home in a Terminator or Robocop movie. I never knew the stage was called the Old Cyber Steel Mill. How stupid does that sound? But it’s right on point for a Contra game; it doesn’t matter if it sounds stupid, it matters if it’s cool. And it is. Was. Both.
The first level is a nice introduction, the top-down viewpoint levels are strange but a nice change-up. I know people tend to hate them, but I still admire Mode-7 so much that I’m reluctant to despise. The later levels are crazy challenging but a bit too “been there, done that”. The Old Cyber Steel Mill is where it’s at. Even though the game would only be 20 minutes long, I would be content if the game ended right here.
Scaling the beige walls until you get to the top only to face the giant robot boss is such an epic moment. For a moment, you only see the hands tear through the wall as it forces it open revealing its monstrous self. It’s one of the best boss intros I’ve ever seen, despite how simple it is. Then you have to crawl your way around the claustrophobic room as the tracking lasers, then clockwise fireball of death, then bombs are thrown at you. This really is the highlight of the game. Run run, jump, jump, climb, climb, shoot shoot, fuck…fuck!!!!
I don’t know how purists see Contra 3: The Alien Wars, but I usually do see Contra significantly higher on most lists. That’s fair, I think Contra is probably a better game, but this is a more fun experience. It doesn’t matter if you’re playing solo or co-op, you’ll still have a great time. The vehicle stages weren’t my favorite, but as long as you had the mighty C weapon (Contra weapon?) you were set. The fact that you could have two weapons on hand meant that the idiotic requirement to dodge upgrades so you wouldn’t lose your spread gun was rendered redundant. The Spread is still here, but I always preferred the Homing and Contra combo, especially if you switched back and forth while firing. I don’t know if that resulted in the rumored extra damage, but it sure was fun to do.
What you see is what you get. This is a challenging, yet easy to play platformer with loads of weapons, awesome set-pieces and essentially was a commercial for how much better the Super Nintendo was compared to the original NES. Good enough for me!
The 500 