Genre: Racing
Year: 1996
Developed by: Nintendo EAD
Published by: Nintendo
Platforms: N64
#105
Feeling Like: WELCOME TO MARIO-KART!
Does it look like crap today? Absolutely. It is in the bottom tier of Mario Karts? You can shove it with that question. Mario Kart 64 was one of the handful of multiplayer games that completely negated any arguments about whether or not it was good, or if it aged well. It was easy to play, had some fantastic tracks that are still being used in modern Mario Karts, and up to four players could play simultaneously. Get the hell out of here with modern judgments or whining that it sort of feels like you’re racing through mud, even when you’re not racing through mud. I won’t have it. Mario Kart 64 rightfully earns its #105 spot on the 500.
This was the Mario Kart I played a ton of. Couldn’t get enough. I’d beat every Grand Prix on 150cc, then do it again with different characters just for the fun of it. I memorized the turns, the secrets, the items, the routes and how to get those red puffs by drifting. If I couldn’t drift, I was barely interested in making the turn at all. What started out as a careening, suicidal hop-turn in Super Mario Kart morphed into a gameplay defining mechanic for the series going forward. You may not always have room, or you may approach the hairpin at too harsh an angle, but if you want to rack up the wins you WILL understand that shimmying your joystick in the opposite direction a few times will give you a small speed boost. And you’ll want to do it every single time.
It was a mainstay at sleepovers. Eric, Kaz, Aslam and Dave would bring over every controller they had. Varying shades of grey, black, red and green littered the floor, along with an incomprehensible mess of wires. Between Mario Kart 64, Star Fox 64, Goldeneye 007 and Super Smash Bros., we ate heartily as teenagers. Frantic bike rides to my place at lunch hour in Grade 11 for a session or two was not unheard of, and mercifully in Grade 12 we got a lot of free blocks. There really is nothing like finishing your day at 1pm and playing Nintendo for the next 3 hours alongside your best friends.
I liked the new touches. Obviously the graphics were a complete overhaul; four years now is a long time. Going from 1992-1996 back then may as well have been four light years in terms of technological advancements. Mario Kart 64 is not a good looking game, but it works for what it was going for. Considering it’s the first in the series to make the jump to 3D, it was an awe-inspiring effort. But things like how you can hold your shell behind you in a defensive stance before launching in front of you added some strategy to the weapons selection. The three shells circling you looked incredible and you felt invincible for a brief period of time. There were some sections that had you launching in the air, and I mean you were getting serious hang time. How’s the weather up there?
The same competitiveness still remained, moreso since you could have four players instead of two battling it out. You couldn’t do a four player Grand Prix, but you could race every course you wanted and tally the points for an ultimate winner. Battle Mode was a crazy good time, even if four player split-screen meant you had to squint a bit to make out all the details. A single banana on the track isn’t much of a threat, but eight bananas by the items when you’re only working with 1/4 of a screen is a major concern. Plus, when you died, you were reincarnated as a cute little bomb who could drive around and kamikaze into your opponents. From beyond the grave, I strike at thee!
The character sprites look weird and some of the tracks didn’t quite work out as well as I’d hoped, but Banshee Boardwalk, Royal Raceway and Bowser’s Castle are all terrific. Even Yoshi’s Valley, with multiple different routes of varying challenge, was interesting to race on. So much so that a few of them even ended up Mario Kart 8. Hey, when you’re good, you’re good!
I’m not a simulation racer fan. Couldn’t get into Forza Horizon 5 and while Gran Turismo 5 had its moments for me, it didn’t instill the kind of passion or excitement that a game like F-Zero GX or Mario Kart 64 did. I don’t want to have to practice for hours to make a turn properly, or down shift to avoid a collision, or strategize when to do a pit stop, or whatever. I want a video game-ass video game were my chief concern is to use my Star power to bowl over as many of my opponents as I can, or use the Mushroom to cut across the lawn to get my Mario Raceway time down a fraction of a second. I want to get a boost by timing the acceleration button when Lakitu starts his count. I want to be rewarded for sucking with the Lightning Bolt, or hear the foul cries when a Blue Shell hits the leader of the pack. There is no fair in Mario Kart, it should be a brutal, ridiculous, fun exercise where you pilot a dinosaur through waterfalls while they spout their funny sounding catchphrases.
And just listen to that end credits theme. Beautiful.
The 500 