Genre: Action-adventure
Year: 1998
Developed by: Konami Computer Entertainment Osaka
Published by: Konami
Platforms: N64
#187
Feeling Like: IMPACT!
On the Almighty Spreadsheet, I make little notes for myself. I often mention other games in a post, but there’s no way in hell I’ll remember that I referenced Super Stardust HD in the upcoming Infamous post, so I have to use the Spreadsheet to ensure I remember.
As you can see, there’s nothing set for Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon and honestly, that doesn’t surprise me. How the hell can I say this wonderful, amazing, bizarre, stupid, ridiculous and glorious game is anything like anything else? It’s an N64 action/platformer so it sort of controls like a Zelda…but it came out BEFORE Ocarina of Time. It’s as Japanese as they come, an anime brought to a controller. At no point can you take the game seriously, but it’s such an earnest adventure that I sort of had to. I don’t know if the humor translated over to English enough for me to laugh, but its charm certainly worked. I can’t say this is one of the best games I’ve ever played, but it is undoubtedly unforgettable.
I got lost often. I liked the Japanese village and countryside setting, there was rarely a new area that wasn’t beautiful to look at, or fun to traverse. I suffered mild frustration that I couldn’t figure out that if I wanted to pass beyond the temple, I had to blast my coin attack at the offering box, but those moments were few and far between. Even just running around as Goemon, or the lady ninja with green hair (Yae, my favorite) or Sasuke the awesome doll was a blast.
Areas are relatively simple with a combination of platforming and attacking enemies to progress. It’s the right kind of basic, there aren’t any confusing combos to learn and even if the surrealist style can be jarring, it’s never confusing or dull. It’s almost beyond explaining…good thing I’m writing about it!
The story may be slightly insane, but the developers are in on the joke. There’s a laugh track. A laugh track! It’s this kind of unique injection of creativity that kept me going, not that the game is very long to begin with.
There are two highlights that will stick with me forever. The first is the soundtrack. If you thought the game was off the wall, just listen to these.
In case you didn’t think you weren’t playing a video game anime, this is the intro.
Oedo Castle’s Theme is still in my head. Love this one.
I still hum this one as I walk to work.
But for those that have played it, or know the game in the slightest, know that I’m beating around the bush.
The best part of the game, the entrée, the piece de resistance is a giant robot that you can hop into and beat up monsters in. It comes with its own theme song and intro cut-scene to one of the craziest video game songs I’ve ever heard.
Who is Impact? Who built him? Why is he helping me out? Why does he wear roller skates? Why are there lyrics to the theme song? Why is there a theme song? Why am I rolling through villages, destroying buildings? This is the strangest thing I’ve ever seen, this is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen.
Each Impact section culminates in a boss fight against another giant entity, usually some kind of monster or demon or another robot. This was my favorite part of the game. Impact is loaded with moves, including a hook you can use to drag enemies right to you, projectile attacks, lasers, pipe whacks and furious punching combos. I do recall the game doesn’t tell you how to do most of these moves, this was back in a time when reading the instruction manual really was necessary. You perform the fights from a first person view, so you really do feel like you’re in Impact.
IMPAAAAACT! God I love this guy.
Mystical Ninja Starring Goemon is perfectly paced for those wanting a different experience. There’s a great mix of exploration, RPG-like progression of the story, colorful personalities, NPCs to get clues from, mini-games, platforming sections and epic boss fights. Considering this came out very early on the N64’s lifecycle, it’s pretty impressive. It barely sold in the US and Europe, but word of mouth always follows gamers around with great positivity. It’s often chosen for speed run charity marathons.
This wasn’t the first or last Goemon game, but it’s the only one I ever played. It was the ideal rental; I don’t know if it would have much lasting appeal, but for a weekend where I didn’t have anything to do, being transported to a silly, magical version of Japan with Goemon and his three eccentric, ass-kicking buddies, this had some serious appeal.
The 500 